I spent two hours with my cousins at their home in this suburb before the funeral. While there, I was astonished to realize that I had visited the home of these particular cousins only one other time in the last twenty years. And that last visit was occasioned by the death of my mother's brother, Abe. In the 1970s and 1980s I visited my cousins and my grandmother and aunts and uncles in Montreal several times a year, leaving me with wonderful memories. Last night as I returned to New York, I realized that those memories alone were not enough to sustain me, and I vowed to do better to stay in touch with my cousins after my daughters are born this summer.